Surrender as an act of liberation

Reflections on day 70/90 days of Pleasure

Yesterday in the Urban Tantra classroom we played with power dynamics. The D/s dynamic in the lens of Tantra is a beautiful act of trust and surrender. It becomes less about domination and more about giving/receiving wholly & fully. Surrendering to the experience that is being given to us.

What did that look like? We learned how to tie each other into a simple harness with a lead. The restriction of the rope felt like a gentle pressing hug. A reminder of being held securely in this practice. Before being blindfolded we discussed the bounds of our agreement with our partners, our last act of agency before we gave control to our leads who led us around the room.

I chose one of the men in the group to partner with, a kind gentle giver whom I knew I could trust in this practice. In the D/s dynamics that I have played with in the past I have always felt more comfortable being the dominant one in the equation. I didn’t know how much I needed to surrender until yesterday. It was incredibly liberating. I have to hold and carry so much in my life, I am the primary decision maker, run multiple businesses, and the weight of all that I hold can be heavy at times.

Letting go, trusting and knowing the experience that I received was FOR me, not being done to me (the Wheel of Consent is our constant guidepost in the classroom) was an act of liberation. I felt so free in that act of surrender. Words hardly do justice to the beauty of the experience. 

It was so integral in my healing to feel safe enough with a man to surrender my control to him. So much of that safety is my own that I have cultivated, and certainly the container we were in, but I would be remiss in not honoring the kind gentle soul that gave me this experience. I am so grateful for him and this gift he has given me.