Surrender as an act of pleasure

Reflections on my 38th day of 90 days of Pleasure

Surrender as in let go, trust, and ease into the flow. I made the decision earlier this year to work less during the summer. The Winter and Spring were very busy seasons for my business and here I am trying to justify slowing down. 

The struggle is real y’all, I am in a continuous cycle of shrugging off the guilt of working less. Even today, my designated day of “schedule nothing” I feel compelled to be productive.

I’ve been struggling to feel inspired. I’ve hit a slump of summertime sadness. Feeling like I haven’t done enough this summer when all I was wishing for was rest and relaxation. 

So I’ve spent the last few days:

☀️ Connecting with water

☀️ Floating

☀️ Finding peace in stillness 

☀️ Feeling the weight of gravity

☀️ The buoyancy of water

☀️ Sinking into words in books instead of writing my own

Do less. Be more.

Shrugging off the weight of needing to be productive, needing to make plans 

Feeling deeply connected to self

Spending time with parts that are feeling abandoned by friends, by family, by self 

Feeling the wholeness of sinking into emotions rather than keeping them at bay.

Surrender as an act of self love, as an act of pleasure by flowing with everything feeling and sensation that arises. Giving time and space to feel. To be.